Why I Hate Taking The Train – You Know Who You Are!

February 17, 2011 at 6:22 pm | Posted in Fun | 3 Comments
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Recently I have been rather busy with work (no Mancry isn’t my full time job sadly)  and having to take the train regularly. 3 hours there and 3 hours back. It doesn’t matter if I sit in 1st class ( laptops everywhere with people in suits) or standard  class (next to the drug addicts and common scum), I always see the same type of annoying people that drive me absolutely fucking crazy. Here’s a list of the common offenders and you know the ones I mean. Hell you probably are ONE of them:

The Phone Guy

Fuck me. We all hate this one. It’s 6:10 am and phone guy calls his boss and says in the loudest voice possible:

” Morning Am I disturbing you? Oh sorry, yeah yeah just on the train. I have a few questions / I’ve been looking over the presentation…”

Well for starters, don’t fucking act like it’s perfectly normal to call your boss at 6:10am. Second, stop fucking shouting! We don’t care what you are talking about and I can promise you, you’re boss doesn’t give a flying fuck either. As soon as you put the phone down, we can all hear your boss saying “What a twat!”

On one of my recent travels, a guy next to me unfolded a large scale schematic on the table, on the fucking TRAIN, to call his boss at 6:10 to discuss the placement of the staircase on diagram B! You can bet his boss thought ” Twat”  at the end of that phone conversation!

The New Presentation Guy

This drives me fucking insane. Presentation guy is bored. He’s already browsed youtube and facebook and now he is getting desperate. File, New, Blank presentation. That’s it. The remainder of the journey is the same  fucking screen. Just adjusting the font size, few lines followed by a “urhh” noise, only to close the presentation WITHOUT saving it, to then open a new one minutes later. If you are bored, do what everyone else does and google “girls” and then browse the small thumbnail preview pics for porn! (wait, I’m the only one who does that!?)

The Loud Typer

Again, drives me fucking INSANE! Especially the woman with fake nails. Tap, tap , tap for 3 hours! I want to slap her and say press the keys like a human and not a fucking monkey! I’ll buy you gloves if it helps but please stop tapping!

The “Everything Apple” Guy

I hate him. On a train 99% of all computers are ugly boring Lenovo laptops. Company pays for them so we don’t care. They get the job done. However ,there is always one person on the train with an Apple product. And I mean Apple. Apple laptop, phone, ipad and ipod touch all out at the same time just to piss us off. Suddenly this guy not only has the biggest cock on the train but the nicest looking. You take a secret little glance at the ipad. You realize he sees you. He fucking loves it and smiles back. Bastard

Phone Looses Signal Guy

We are on a train, it’s fucking moving at 150 mph! So why do you act like someone just fucking died when you loose your phone signal!? Excessive outbursts of “Urghhh” and “Fuck sake” are TOTALLY over the top! Don’t place a phone call on a moving train then you fucking idiot!

Internet Looses Signal Guy

Even Worse than phone looses signal guy. It’s a shitty signal on a moving train on a fucking slow connection at best. Suddenly he realizes the Internet doesn’t work. He ask everyone on the train if they have the same problem ! When he confirms it’s down he then tells the whole train how there is no Internet. Then he acts like there is no air to breath.  Wait 30 min and try again! Not every 2 minutes you complete cock!

Well that was just a few of my pet hates! Didn’t even bother with the loud music players, low battery  guy! You know the ones! So next time you see them, ask for their e-mail address. E-mail them this article and see if they get the picture. Happy traveling!

P.s. I actually wrote this while on the train. Loud Cough guy is on here.. AHHHH!!

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Shameless Plug – shityoudontneed

November 23, 2010 at 3:44 pm | Posted in Fun | Leave a comment
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Ever been in town/on a train/ in a shop and thought “Fuck me, what idiot would buy that?” Well, now my friend created a site just for YOU: shityoudontneed ! Submit your own photos, laugh at the ones that others posted and just enjoy the general waves of shit that seems to be all around us these days. Excellent example –  those tiny little annoying trolleys in the supermarket for your kid to use. Usually the mother taking a life time to shop just one lane, can now start brainwashing the daughter in taking forever too. Fucking annoy and defintely well deserved on the list of shit you don’t need! Go check it out !

 

ManCry Is One Year Old ! Thanks Everyone!!!Here’s Some Facts!

October 5, 2010 at 8:25 am | Posted in Articles, Fun, News, Top 5 countdown | Leave a comment
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What do you MEAN you like the way my ass looks in these jeans?

Well well well, can you believe it! ManCry is now one year old. To think this small little blog started as an idea to share my laughs and more importantly tears with you all a year ago. I’m very surprised and pleased to have as of this posting, slightly short of 10,000 hits! A big thank you to each and every one of you for enjoying the site. As always, feedback wanted! I promise more soundtracks of the weekend, movie reviews, ending scenes and hell, even more midgets if you want it. I hope at least you have shared a laugh with me on here and also thought “what a classic!” when reading some of my movie choices. Here are some fun facts for you : (figures up to date as of this posting)

9,846 visits to Mancry

1,979 views to Capt Phil Harris Funeral scene! RIP Phil!

788 views to Field of Dreams of ending scene (our biggest search hit). Proudly supporting you all having a good cry to this amazing scene!

319 views – ManCry debate of the week – would you fire a midget ?

245  of Kevin Costner & Modern West Live Review

198 views of The Expendables Movie Review ( I hope you have seen this already by now!!)

151 views of Hall of Fame

Also 889 views to my Happy Easter post! I think it must be the GREAT picture I found 🙂

These are just some of our top hits I thought I would share. More disturbingly, thanks to wordpress, I can see the top searches you crazy people put in google to find ManCry!

1st place :   “bunnys” – I told you its the picture!

2nd place “field of dreams ending scene”

3rd place “midget”

I’d really love to see some shrink analysis all this. Then again, it might just be as simple as, most guys love a bit of field of dreams and midget entertainment. In that case, I have a great movie idea…. Field Of Dreams (with midgets) !? Now If I can just find the funding….

Here’s the pics just for your amusement ! THANKS AGAIN ALL & KEEP COMING BACK 🙂

(Makes me so proud looking at those!)

The Expendables (2010) – A Proper Fucking Action Film For Men!

August 13, 2010 at 4:36 pm | Posted in Articles, Fun | 2 Comments
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Sly "Tell me again why you didn't like this movie!!!"

Well Gents, I can’t put this any other way than – WHAT A FUCKING FILM! I know it’s had it’s bad reviews already but hey those people simply don’t like action films. I was completely blown away by this film. With cheesy one liners throughout and more blood and violence than a mexican street rape, I don’t think anyone left the cinema without a smile on their face. Stallone hit the nail on the head with this movie. Just imagine all the men over the world going to see this film. Now you will be one of those men, who informs your friend “Dude, you have to see this movie!

I’m fairly confident that  in many years to come, kids will be studying this film instead of Shakespeare. Just stop and think for a moment here. Stallone , as of writing this post, it 65 years old. I’ll say that again – sixty-five fucking years old! Fuck me! I’m worried that I have to use a wheelchair or  piss myself uncontrollably when I’m 65 and Sly is running around killing people, punching people and being a badass! In the future there will probably be statues of Stallone in every city park with the motto “Sly can do it, so can you”.  Before countries go to war, they will watch the final scene from The Expendables. The first born male child of every family in America will be named Sly. Thousands of families will sit by the television every evening at 7 pm, to see “Sly’s wise words” (A montage of clips and sayings from all his greatest films.) When people die, at their funeral, the soundtrack will always be “eye of the tiger” at every service. You get the point.

If he keeps going at the rate he is now, he will be set for The Expendables 5 by the time he is 75! Seriously, what an amazing achievement to star in this film at 65, let alone write and direct it. Yes, his face looks like he has been through 2 world wars, but look at him – he’s ripped as hell and in amazing shape for his age. (god bless steroids)

You need to see this film in the cinema because it puts money in Sly’s pocket and he deserves it – simple as that. Just think about this concept for one moment. The film does very well. It does so well , that Sly announces a year later that they will make another one. Jean Claude Van Damme anyone!? Steven Seagal!? Chuck Norris!? The potential for a second film already gets me hard excited. The bottom line is – This is an action film for men. If you’re a man go and see it. If you don’t, you might as well spit in Sly’s face. Then spit in ever mans face that loves a good action movie. God I’ve actually sat through Twilight (not my choice)  in the cinema and was bored shitless, watching pale vampires leaping through the forrest. Finally a proper fucking action film FOR MEN! Oh and if you like Twilight and I’ve offend you? Get the fuck off my website, you’re not welcome here. We love Sly and we love this film!

(loads shotgun) Now who’s up for The Expendables II!

You WISH you looked even close to this

“The Expendables” Is Almost Here! INSTANT CLASSIC ALERT!

August 4, 2010 at 11:04 am | Posted in Fun, News | 3 Comments
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Sly "Just kidding lol. But seriously I could!"

Greatest movie cast ever.Period

**UPDATED** 13th Aug – Click here for The Expendables review

Well Gents, we can’t be crying all the time. So you should go and see this film. Its released this month and literally, will be an instant classic (not verified). With a cast of all your favourite action stars of the 80’s/90’s – it’s bound to be a success. Just add some explosions, guns and women and it’s gonna be great. Hell, from what I can tell about the trailer, there appears to be hints of an actual “Storyline” and occasional  scenes of  attempted “dialogue“. Does that mean Stallone even wrote, dare I say “a script” for this movie!? Brilliant! So go and be a big kid and be sure to check out this one. You won’t be disappointed.  Now let’s get down to an important question. Who would win in a real fight out of all these dudes ?

(Stallone, obviously, as he would always keep getting back up and saying ” That ain’t so bad” & “I didn’t hear no bell!”

The Very Best/Worst of Jean Claude Van Damme

July 7, 2010 at 12:20 pm | Posted in Fun | Leave a comment
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JCVD is go cool, this isn't even slightly gay!

Well as this was requested here are some of the very best moments of Van Damme. Who ever made this video thanks but the joke is on you. I smiled throughout all the video as there are no worst bits. Everything JCVD does is instant classic  material / Hollywood gold. I totally forgot about the snake scene. Only one man on earth is allowed to punch a snake and his name is Jean Claude Van Damme! Epic stuff! Please Enjoy!

ManCry Exclusive – Lost Ending Scene Text/Ring Tones MP3’s

June 22, 2010 at 1:02 pm | Posted in Fun | 1 Comment
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Think about this – You love lost and you’ve watched the ending over 10 times. What’s the next step? Lost mp3’s of course! So feel free to enjoy these little snippets as a text or ring tone. Emotional stuff…. 🙂

(Don’t forget our fantastic lost page with ending, soundtracks and montages HERE )

All clips are from the ending scene between Jack and Christian. Enjoy! Feedback and requests wanted!

Click here to get them (100% free)

or share this link with a friend http://www.youshare.com/mancry01/a78269/DisplaySimple

*note* the mp3’s are at the bottom of the page, click to hear them and “download file” to save them

New iPhone 4G Latest Info / Live Feed

June 7, 2010 at 8:58 pm | Posted in Fun, News | Leave a comment
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Every time someone adds this icon, Kevin Costner smiles.

Im following the live feed for all the latest gucci info. Click here to check it out. Pre order anyone? Kevin Costner ManCry icon will look sweet (click here to get it )

My Featured Article on Smitten By Britain

May 25, 2010 at 10:27 am | Posted in Fun, News | 1 Comment
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I wrote an article that was published on a great little site called smittenbybritain.com . It’s a brilliant little  site and the article can be read here . It’s about what I miss about my homeland (England) , with a funny story at the end how I ended up breaking a girls nose. Glad I can make a few people laugh while promoting ManCry at the same time. Special thanks to smittenbybritain. Enjoy!

The Best Fishing Bloopers Ever!

May 20, 2010 at 1:05 pm | Posted in Fun | Leave a comment
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I’m off fishing in Sweden tomorrow for the Weekend. Fishing is on my mind at the moment, so I put in fishing bloopers on YouTube. I’ve never laughed so much! The title has it right, they really are the best fishing bloopers ever. I hope you enjoy them as much as me. Have a great weekend Gents

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