The Expendables (2010) – A Proper Fucking Action Film For Men!

August 13, 2010 at 4:36 pm | Posted in Articles, Fun | 2 Comments
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Sly "Tell me again why you didn't like this movie!!!"

Well Gents, I can’t put this any other way than – WHAT A FUCKING FILM! I know it’s had it’s bad reviews already but hey those people simply don’t like action films. I was completely blown away by this film. With cheesy one liners throughout and more blood and violence than a mexican street rape, I don’t think anyone left the cinema without a smile on their face. Stallone hit the nail on the head with this movie. Just imagine all the men over the world going to see this film. Now you will be one of those men, who informs your friend “Dude, you have to see this movie!

I’m fairly confident that  in many years to come, kids will be studying this film instead of Shakespeare. Just stop and think for a moment here. Stallone , as of writing this post, it 65 years old. I’ll say that again – sixty-five fucking years old! Fuck me! I’m worried that I have to use a wheelchair or  piss myself uncontrollably when I’m 65 and Sly is running around killing people, punching people and being a badass! In the future there will probably be statues of Stallone in every city park with the motto “Sly can do it, so can you”.  Before countries go to war, they will watch the final scene from The Expendables. The first born male child of every family in America will be named Sly. Thousands of families will sit by the television every evening at 7 pm, to see “Sly’s wise words” (A montage of clips and sayings from all his greatest films.) When people die, at their funeral, the soundtrack will always be “eye of the tiger” at every service. You get the point.

If he keeps going at the rate he is now, he will be set for The Expendables 5 by the time he is 75! Seriously, what an amazing achievement to star in this film at 65, let alone write and direct it. Yes, his face looks like he has been through 2 world wars, but look at him – he’s ripped as hell and in amazing shape for his age. (god bless steroids)

You need to see this film in the cinema because it puts money in Sly’s pocket and he deserves it – simple as that. Just think about this concept for one moment. The film does very well. It does so well , that Sly announces a year later that they will make another one. Jean Claude Van Damme anyone!? Steven Seagal!? Chuck Norris!? The potential for a second film already gets me hard excited. The bottom line is – This is an action film for men. If you’re a man go and see it. If you don’t, you might as well spit in Sly’s face. Then spit in ever mans face that loves a good action movie. God I’ve actually sat through Twilight (not my choice)  in the cinema and was bored shitless, watching pale vampires leaping through the forrest. Finally a proper fucking action film FOR MEN! Oh and if you like Twilight and I’ve offend you? Get the fuck off my website, you’re not welcome here. We love Sly and we love this film!

(loads shotgun) Now who’s up for The Expendables II!

You WISH you looked even close to this

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