ManCry

ManCry Debate Of The Week – Would You Fire A Midget?

Go ahead and fire me, see what happens!

Hello Gents and welcome to a new feature : ManCry Debate Of The Week (posted late but never the less it’s here!). This debate is meant as fun and doesn’t mean to offend any loyal readers (all 12 of them) or indeed midgets/little fellas / mini-me’s .  So this weeks topic – Would you fire a midget?

This debate stems from a discussion with a friend over the matter. A random debate but important none the less. We were talking about midgets in general ( who doesn’t!) and I said “well if you are a midget, yes you may be small but you’ve got a job for life – no one would ever sack a midget!” Let me defend and explain myself:

When was the last time you read a paper and saw “[Large Company] Fires Midget!” or “Midget put on the streets by [large company]” ? Exactly – That’s what the PR experts call “bad press” .  I admit there are some jobs you wouldn’t expect to see a midget doing such as:

1. Window cleaner

2. Strong man

3. Bodyguard

But then again you could say the same for fat people, so don’t even get me started. Midgets have great normal lives like us, in the office, blue collar workers as well im sure, I’m just convinced they would never lose their job. I personally couldn’t do it, could you? Imagine the scene.  A little midget  has been working hard for your company for 10 years as a salesman in your office. He then comes into your office and says:

[takes off his little tie and unbuttons his little collar]

“I’m sorry boss but I had enough today and beat up Janine at reception as she laughed at me. She’s unconscious now but I snuck up from behind and hit her over the head with my briefcase (mini version)”

My instant reply would be “Don’t worry about it little man, we’ll clear this mess up. Take the day off, hell take the week off and come back in when you are ready and recharged“

When Janine wakes up  “You’re fired get out! “ and make up some sexual harassment charge.

So I still to this day don’t know of any midgets that have been fired. Next scenario – imagine – board meeting of directors discussing cutbacks:

Director 1 “So its confirmed we have to let at least 2 people go this month, just can’t afford to keep them on.”

Director 2 “Sure any suggestions?“

Director 3 (the new guy) “How about Linda from purchasing and Dave from accounts?“

Director 1 & 2 (pauses and looks at each other)  “You don’t mean mini Dave do you?“

Director 3 (the new guy) “Why do you call him that?”

Director 1 ” He’s a midget – we can’t sack him,  can you imagine our company name in the paper front page “sacks midget” ? I don’t think so”

Director 3 “You’re right sorry”

Director 2 “I don’t think we need your director services any longer Richard, clear your desk by the end of the week”

Now im fairly sure that conversation has happened in real life at least few times. I stand by my argument people. Midgets probably have the most secure careers out of anyone in the world right now. Bottom line, It’s great to be a midget.

Thoughts?

(I hope haven’t offended anyone, it’s written with humour after a genuine debate. Hey for all you know, I’m also a midget making fun of myself as I’m confident enough to do it.  ( God bless the anonymity of the internet)

Bonus: I just found this pic below after googling “midgets” – disturbing. I draw the line there. I don’t approve (still posted though)

This is what might happen when you fire one