ManCry

ManCry Debate Of The Week – Would You Fire The Ugly Girl At Work ?

This is why everyone should own a shotgun

Well, it’s been a while since we’ve upset people while making others laugh. So we’ve done midgets, wheelchair users,  the blind and tourettes, here comes our new topic. Let the debate begin :

Would You Fire The Ugly Girl At Work?

Well gentlemen, this debate has been around for years and I am sure it won’t be going away anytime soon. Just like our previous debates, the subjects suffers from some kind of hardship or disability. This still applies for the ugly girl at work. Come on, you KNOW who I’m talking about. I don’t mean the ever so slightly unattractive or plump lady you see in the office. I mean the girl at the work place that is so ugly, you double  take and think “Has there been an escape from the local zoo!?” or “Who the FUCK let that in the office and WHAT is it!” The funny thing is, or lucky in some ways I guess, is that the girl we are talking about, is usually completely unaware of her disability. Yes, we are talking flirtatious walking. Yes we are talking revealing clothing. Everything the really fuckable girl in the office does, the ugly one sadly also copies.Badly.  It send shivers across the workplace. But as we all know, most companies have codes of conduct in the workplace. This means on a bad day, you can’t just stroll up to the ugly and say “Shut your mouth you fat pig. I’m sorry everyone’s thinking it, I just said it.” You could do this but of course you would lose your job. You’d high five everyone on the way out of the office but you would still lose your job.

Now here comes the part that not everyone one admits. At some point it’s happened to you. Be honest IT HAS and you enjoyed it. At some occasion “the ugly” will make some kind of degrading comment to wait for the response of “don’t be silly you look great!” – This is when you can not say something and be offensive all at the same time. A Perfect example :

Employee “You coming  to the Christmas Party tonight!?”

Ugly ” You must be joking! Not with my face!”¨

Employee “OK” (walks off)

Small victories gents, small victories! Enjoy these moments please , they are great but sadly few and far between.  Now to the other side of the coin, a difficult subject. The deliberate bend over. Ew. You know the one I mean. Where you are minding your own business and the ugly drops something. The following site of her bending over and then delivering a cheeky smile, can only be politely described as  “The dooms day sunset.” And that’s just the arse end. The face roughly resembles a scene from “Lord of the Rings” to match. The event has actually been known to kill the weak hearted. You know what I mean.Even worse than this tragic turn of events is the following. Picture the scene :

You’ve almost finished the day at work. You’ve been busy talking and organizing a final detail before you are about to go home. As you finish a conversation and walk away, in the corner of your eye you notice something. While continuing to walk to your desk, you notice a unfamilar new woman bending over and it gets your attention. You enjoy the view for a split second and think “mmm nice arse” then seconds later you see her stand up and realize it IS THE UGLY GIRL. Oh my god what the FUCK just happened!? One moment of distraction , a “brainfart moment” and  you officially became aroused by the ugly girls body! You can’t go back in time. It happened. But what the fuck do you do!? You do what any man would. You call in sick the next day while you watch extreme doses of high definition porn to wash away the events of the day before. It is the ONLY way! Ever wondered why “Dave” called in sick? He seemed fine yesterday didn’t he? But he returns back to work after one day off sick looking even more tired than when he wasn’t ill!? He caught a view of the ugly and then took action like a man.Good job.

To finally answer the question – would you sack her? The answer is No. It’s a two part No because 1: You don’t actually know what the fuck it is that the ugly woman does around the office. It must be good, as she still works in the office. 2. It really really, REALLY makes you appreciate the Fuckable woman at work and your OWN life. Think about it, after a really bad day in the office, always think to yourself “Hey I could be worse off.Like Ugly. God yeah. That’s cheered me right up!Poor woman”

Then on the way out of the office one day just stop the ugly , tap on on the shoulder twice in a comforting manner and say ” Well done. You give me strength. See you tomorrow.”

Enjoy the day gents! If I’ve upset anyone, hey it’s not about YOU and if it is, you’ll never prove it